Yesterday and today were stressful days. I am trying to be thankful and find reasons to be content with things the way they are....but I have to say that is not easy. Sometimes I feel like I am trying to do the right thing, but I am always unsuccessful. Right now, I am at a point where I don't know what do to and don't know what is the right thing to do. God and I talked today and I told Him that I want to do what He wants me to do, but I am not always sure what that is. I want to give myself totally to Him, but there is always a "but"...why is that? Like but my faith is not strong enough?, but why me?, but..but..but..I keeping trying to tell myself instead of asking but's..ask why nots? Why is my faith not strong enough..why not me? When I really get to the bottom of it...there is no excuse. There is no reason why it should not be me and there is no reason that my faith should not be strong enough. God has never given me more than I could handle and He has never left me! So the truth of the matter is that the problem is in ME! So how do I change this? I am at a point where I don't where to go from here. I want to let go and let God so bad...why can't I do it? Just a few thoughts that have been on my mind lately...if you have any advice I am open for help.
Today I am thankful for:
Casey and his patience and for the time he gives to listen to me..Thanks Casey!
Prayer
Songs that encourage me to keep going
Hugs when you feel like you can't go anymore
God for not giving up on me
I hope that everyone is having a good week!!! Remember if we are suffering for Christ it doesn't have a sad ending...we will one day have a home with Him in heaven! (where there is no drama :) )
One day down and nine more to go. I will feel much better when this day is over, because most of my projects are due tomorrow. I am going to be working late tonight, so I am glad for a short day tomorrow. I got a good run in today to vent our some stress, while working on my fiqure for my sister's wedding in April so I feel like I at least accomplished something today. I am still working on being thankful in everything and I am not doing so good right now. I need to have a more positive attitude, which is what I am working on this week!!
But I am thankful for:
Prayer
God being patient with me and picking me up when I fall
Friends that are willing to listen and give me advice
Parents who are there for me and set a good example of how a Christian should live
A church family
The opportunity to get an education
The trust people have in me to do the right thing, and will support me even when it is not the cool thing to do
Christian friends around me to help me in my christian walk...since it is not always easy being a stranger in the world
Reliable transportation
The ability to run, to take out my stresses and talk to God
I hope that everyone is surviving the last week of classes...be thankful we are one day closer to Christmas break!
Well it is Saturday night...so that means that it is back to same ole same ole tomorrow. The week has ended on a good note. Dave and I went to Memphis on Friday night and picked up Bryan (former ucsc resident...but an honorary one to us), so that we could all hang out. We had a blast...playin a little ping pong and eating pizza...plus a little Conan for Bryce...stayed up really late..but that didn't stop us from enjoying the Egg Bowl (even in the rain and cold) since we beat State...we are officially not the worst team in the SEC West. I am already lookin forward to next year! Go Rebs.
I have made progress on my book, but I still have a long way to go until it is finished. Monday will be a extra busy day. I will have to finish my painting tomorrow and then my stress will be on the lower side, except for the fact that finals are week after next..but after that I am home free until January 18th.
I hope that everyone had a wonderful break!!!
Today I am thankful for:
Friends that are always there for me when I need them
Ability to go to football games (money, time, etc.)
A warm place to come home to
Someone to tell me that they love me (parents, friends, family (spiritual and physical)
Today was a day of lots of family. We had over 50 people at my grandparents house for lunch. It has been about 2 years since just about everyone (yes, that is not all of the family) was able to be together. I realized today that I am getting older..because my little cousins are doing what the cousins my age and I used to do...like fishing, riding the four wheeler, going to see the cows with Poppy ( riding on the tailgate)....let me take a minute and tell you see who would get first dibs on the tailgate..but the tailgate was fun because Poppy would stop really fast over the creek and try to throw us off..I went wading in the creek many times....back to the things we used to do...play hide and seek...go in and out of the house..play in the creek..riding our bikes down the drive...climbing trees. Good memories...sometimes I wish I could do that all over again, because my cousins and I have grown apart. We are all at different stages in our lives...but the saddest part is that the differences are not just in physical aspects such as marriage, children, school and jobs, but in spiritual aspects. There are several of my generation that do not have a close relationship with God anymore and do not go to church like we did growing up. I pray that they will put God back in there life, because everything else will work itself out.
I am thankful for family. I prayed that we would all be able to get past our differences and celebrate our similiarities and I felt like that happened today. I could see people laying aside their grievances to have a happy thanksgiving. A big thanks to my grandparents for setting such a wonderful example and raising Godly children. I love you guys very much!!!
I am so blessed...and today I am thankful that God is an active in my life and that I have a family that loves me.
I have so much stuff to do and don't know where to begin...so I haven't exactly begun yet. Which brings to mind doing what I want when I want. I got my haircut today and found out that my beautician is moving again. (but i think this could be a good thing...because it will be cheaper) I have been chattin with friends.. learning a lot about life and just hangin out. I have been working on my graphic design project (which I think is going to be a great success when it is finished) But today will be the last day for doing what I want when I want for a while, since my sister is coming this afternoon and thanksgiving dinner is tomorrow...but I have enjoyed it while it lasted and will look forward to it again in the near future. This thanksgiving will be like the thanksgivings I remember while growing up only I am part of the older generation. We have several new additions to the family, so it will be an interesting one with all the new little people to keep an eye on.
Today I am thankful:
Relaxing week (sleeping in ...right Bryan)
Sean keeping me company at the center...it gets lonely when everyone goes home for the holidays and summer
My sister, Gena coming for a visit.
We were safe in the storm last night
Safe travel from my extended family coming to Oxford for thanksgiving
Uncle Doug is doing better after surgery
Opportunity to get an education
Family support of me and my goals to get an education
I have lots to be thankful for...I hope that I will never lose sight of that even when I have a hard time being thankful.
I hope everyone has a wonderful thanksgiving!!!
Today was a good day. I have dedicated this to be drama free week! So I am not letting anything (drama wise) ruin my break. And so far so good. I got a few things accomplished but for the most part I did nothing. Sean and I watched the Punisher tonight. It was very interesting. The punisher is very creative in his revenge tactics. It was overall a good movie, other than some painful circumstances that the victims were in. But on a lighter note, we watched Star Wars too and it is just an all around great movie!! (can't wait to see episode 3, which is coming out pretty soon)
Today I am thankful for:
Good health and lots of rest
Friends that make me laugh
God answering prayers as needed
Jesus died for us, the least we could do is live for Him!!