dancing in the rain

Little did I know that when I took God seriously the devil took me seriously. We have a vision quest at the student center, where we set goals at the beginning of each semester and set out to achieve them by the end.
My goals were: (to help your understand where I am going with this)
1. Grow Closer to God
Reading my Bible everyday
Pray specific prayers
Tell at least one person everyday about RFC (Rebels for Christ)
2. Get In Shape
Do 50 sit-ups a day
Drink 5 glasses of water a day
Run at least 1 mile a day
3. Get a 2.25 GPA
Do at least 2 accounting problems
Go to class (this might seem little for some, but if you know me it is a great task)
Read one subject's notes each day
4. Be Less Selfish and Less Negative
List 5 thankful each day
Do one specific act of kindness (go the extra mile)
Write 2 notes of encouragement a day
Well as you can see I have a lot to live up to. But I wanted to push myself, so I set goals that I really wanted to achieve. So I have began reading my Bible everyday (at breakfast if possible) and writing in my journal. But I feel like the closer I get with God the harder the devil is on me. I feel him pulling on one side with God on the other. But I feel that even though I have been working on my relationship with God, I have not let God consume me because the devil is getting in. I am really struggling with feelings of disappointment in myself, but feeling animosity toward varies people. I am feeling discouraged and I know that these are feelings of the devil. I have been listening to a song on a CD that I have that is called Yes Lord Yes. It is an up beat song, but lately I haven't felt so up beat when listening to it, because I am singing something I haven't done or let happen. The song goes "I am trading my sorrow, I am trading my shame and I am laying them down for the Joy of the Lord." I am trading my sickness, I am trading my pain and I am laying them down for the Joy of the Lord"....Yes, Lord, Yes...Amen...I am struck down but not destroyed; persecuted but not abandoned. My sorrow may last for the night but His joy comes in the morning.
He will never let me down! I love this song, but I don't feel like I do it. I know that loving God with everything in me will help me do this. I have been praying specific prayers, so I am looking for answers from God. I have prayed with those around me, but I still feel that the devil is more prevalent than I want him to be. I am just venting or should I say confessing (since that is what we have been studying about on Wednesday nights). I need prayers of those around me that I will be able to keep satan as far away from me as possible. And that I will make decisions based on what God wants me to do, not what the devil wants.

Today I am thankful:
My parents, their support for me even when I mess up
Sean, Dave, Matt - I don't know what I would do without you guys. I found out what real friends are like when you came into my life
Casey and Tracey - listening to me and putting up with all the tears. Casey, praying with me!
All those that helped pass out flyers last week (James, Heather, Dave, Casey) - we planned seeds, Let's pray they will grow!
The power of God's forgiveness! (man, an I lucky!)
That God's power can overcome satan's evil ways

Remember Satan can get only as close as you let him and the same is with God! So, I guess you have to ask yourself who do you want closer? You can't have both!