dancing in the rain

I asked a friend last night what do you do when you feel hopeless and the respond I got was "Where could I go but to the Lord?"(if you know the song, you know the rest) But I continued the conversation... with why is it not that easy? I am a person that wants to fix things now or asap. I am not very patient when it comes to situations that I have to wait for a response. I know I need to pray and wait. But I think my biggest problem is I have a feeling a doubt in my mind...why I don't know...but I do....I was reading Mark 11:24 and it says "Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Believe is a big word in this passage. Do I really believe when I pray? or am I just asking (praying) to say I asked? Just like it says in Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you....
Then I read passages like...John 15:4 says Remain in me and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
He will take care of me, He will not give me more than I can bear, He will never let me down, He has a plan for me .... so why the hopelessness? pain? hurt? depression? disappointment? numbness? I have decided that they are part of life, but they don't have to be my life. Jesus felt all of these things, but He remain with God and BELIEVED when he prayed and He was able to complete His mission.
I feel hopeless but am I going to let that be me? Right now, it has become me and all the other things I listed have too but I have been praying and I am going to stop letting it be me! I want to give it all to God and let take care of me!

Today I am thankful for:
People who love me in spite of myself (they love me even when I am not loveable)
The honesty and trust that I have found in my close friends
the prayers and long talks that many have provided for me
a God that never gives up on me, even when I don't give him a chance
today... a chance to start over