Since I posted last I have had many thoughts run through my head...so this post maybe randon, so bear with with me...
Last night the youth had a lock-in at the center...that was rather eventful I must say....I used to think that my dream was to marry a youth minister, since that is what I wanted to do since I was in my teens...but I guess it is these kids and the fact that I don't have a relationship with many of them it make it very difficult to enjoy myself...I don't really know...but it might be that I am getting to old for this...(as Mrs. Diane said this morning when she came to pick up her son at 6 am)....who knows...it had its moments..
then Michael Bates (the youth minister in Batesville) gave a devotional talk at midnight last night on "Living as if you were Dying" (like the song by Tim McGraw)...he asked us how we would live life differently if we knew we were dying...well we are dying!?!?!....i really thought about that hard...to be truthfully honest, it brought tears to my eyes because I dont always live as if I was dying...some days I think "oh, I have tomorrow to make things right" well that will not always be the case....this week has been one of those weeks and I am trying to make things right....I want to live as if I was dying...
Wednesday night in devotional we talked about What has encouraged us in our walk with God....a lot of things came to mind...one, being that God will never let me down and he is always there to help when I ask for it...second, my friends that have stood by me when I thought I was in this journey alone, I couldn't have done it without them...I know that we can accomplish this goal together....third, the Bible and prayer that when I pray for Biblicial advice I can open the scripture and read what I need to hear (not always what I want) that is best for me and will help me in my time of need...finally, could be the important, but I don't think that any of them have an order of importance since they are helpful in there own situations...but the opportunity for forgiveness and repentance to leave the past behind...that is not always easy...sometimes I feel that my past is closer to me than I would like....But I am leaving what is behind and straining toward what is ahead...whatever that might be....
The last thing that I have to make a comment about...is why do relationships have to be so complicated? why can two people not decide what they want in a relationship and go for it...there has to be the you decide, no you decide, drama...I am too old for this...I don't date just to be dating anymore...I am dating for the purpose of finding someone to marry and I don't want to waste time dating someone I know I will not marry....I don't really know what I am trying to say here...but if two people are attracted to each other for whatever reason...why does there have to be drama? .....like I said random thoughts...I am stuck on this one and don't know what else to say....
I hope everyone has a happy new year!!!
Well Christmas has come and gone as I wrote about on Sunday....I went shopping yesterday to spend my Christmas money (looking for sales).....didn't find much but did find a few clothes....I will have some money to buy somethings later as needed....
Now I am back at the center....doing things to get ready for everyone to return...and a few things for myself (like cleaning out drawers...and organizing shelves)....
I must say it has been an interesting couple of days...my mind has been busy thinking about the future...do I want to date or not? or am I content for now? do I want to continue with school, will I graduate when planned? As the new year approaches what could I have done differently the past to make the future better? and the list goes on...so as you can tell my mind has been busy...some of the questions are still to be answered...but I know one answer that I see clearer everyday....my walk with God is not what I want it to be and I can't change my past but I can control my future....there are somethings in the past that if I hadn't done them my future would not be what it is today...but I am learning from those things to make it better...I have learned that I still have weaknesses and I need to avoid those situations or set them up differently to avoid the temptation to fall in the trap again..like Ephesians 6:12 says..."For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the power of ths dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Satan is powerful and scary!
Philippians 4:8-9 says.."Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. But I do the things I should I will have peace with God....
Ephesians 6:10-17 I am to take a stand against satan...to stand strong but unmoveable...I want this so much but I know lately I have been moveable....there are days when I feel satan is molding me instead of God...so starting today...i am going to start fresh and new...as Ryan would say I (we) are to die each day...
So Colossians 3:17 says.."And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." and v.23-24, Whatever you do, work at it will all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
So no matter how many times I forgive even if it was not my fault, or have to apologize when it really is my fault...I will be doing everything in the name of the Lord...as the New Years approaches I am not making necessarily making New Years resolutions...but I am going to sincerely try and live each day as if I die to myself and live for God each day...I want to keep this up front in my mind...
I am thankful for the opportunity today to make my life right and for the opportunity each day that is new I have the opportunity to start clean with God...
Well, I survived another Christmas in the Davis household...I got to spend some quality time with my nephew, Davis and I got to talked to my sister, Gena, one on one for a little while and we haven't got to do that in a while.
Santa was good to me...I have lots to be thankful for....
On Christmas eve we opened one gift, watched several episodes of Overhauled and played Trivial Pursuit the 90's Version until 1 am....Christmas morning, we had a devotional and opened presents, then went to my granparents for brunch...Gena and I watched Peter Pan (I took a little nap during it)....while the others hung out in the living room watching Shak vs. Coby....then Ms. Melanie and Brianna jioned us for Christmas dinner...after we were all full we went to granny's for a friendly (yeah right) game of dirty santa with the extended family...then we played a card game called swap before calling it a night....
then the excitement begins...I locked myself out of my room at the center, my cell phone was dead and my gas gage was on below empty....I didn't panic....I drove to Ryan's (thankfully he has to preach tomorrow or I would have been up a creek for a least a little while longer)....I charged my phone enough to use it...he took me to Mrs. Melanie's to get an extra key, so I could get into my room.....after getting the key....we went to smitty's to pick something up and ended up watching Elf and parts of Bettlejuice....so now I am at home safe and sound in my room....the place that I call "home"!
I hope that everyone had a great Christmas and that they were good this year so Santa stopped by for a visit...
I must have been real good...
Today I am thankful for:
all my possessions.....I am so blessed!
my dad and his advice to help me when I need it (even if it is not necessarily what I want to here)
for Davis and his health...he is so happy
Gena and Adam's safe trip to Oxford from Searcy (it was suppose to be a 3 hour trip and turned into a 7 hour trip)
Wow, it is Christmas Eve already...that means that the year is almost over and much reflection to be done...but that will wait til after Christmas....today for me the chaos begins...the traditions that once were are no longer...times have changed and I am just waiting to see what the future holds. Last night I went the movies with my youngest sister, Carrie...and for those of you who know me know that that is a great accomplishment...we have not been very close and I don't always give her the love and attention she deserves...but we had a great time and agreed to do it agree....so I am seeing a blessing in change...we now have something in common eventhough we are 6 years apart...we are the ones left at home...the Lord has ways of working that I didn't see before....
I am trying to look for the positive and for things to be thankful for....there has been positive things that have happened and I am hoping that I am can continue to see that...(my mom, my dad, carrie and I went to walmart yesterday...that was fun yet interesting...) ...we are having Italian night tonight at my aunts house and that should be real interesting...we are having breakfast with my grandmother and I am excited about that...I love my granny...she is awesome!....my sister, Gena, made it in spite of the snow and ice....so I am hoping for the best...
I wish every one a merry christmas eve!!! enjoy whatever you are doing on this day...I will be trying to seek happiness among chaos...