dancing in the rain

Since I posted last I have had many thoughts run through my head...so this post maybe randon, so bear with with me...

Last night the youth had a lock-in at the center...that was rather eventful I must say....I used to think that my dream was to marry a youth minister, since that is what I wanted to do since I was in my teens...but I guess it is these kids and the fact that I don't have a relationship with many of them it make it very difficult to enjoy myself...I don't really know...but it might be that I am getting to old for this...(as Mrs. Diane said this morning when she came to pick up her son at 6 am)....who knows...it had its moments..
then Michael Bates (the youth minister in Batesville) gave a devotional talk at midnight last night on "Living as if you were Dying" (like the song by Tim McGraw)...he asked us how we would live life differently if we knew we were dying...well we are dying!?!?!....i really thought about that hard...to be truthfully honest, it brought tears to my eyes because I dont always live as if I was dying...some days I think "oh, I have tomorrow to make things right" well that will not always be the case....this week has been one of those weeks and I am trying to make things right....I want to live as if I was dying...
Wednesday night in devotional we talked about What has encouraged us in our walk with God....a lot of things came to mind...one, being that God will never let me down and he is always there to help when I ask for it...second, my friends that have stood by me when I thought I was in this journey alone, I couldn't have done it without them...I know that we can accomplish this goal together....third, the Bible and prayer that when I pray for Biblicial advice I can open the scripture and read what I need to hear (not always what I want) that is best for me and will help me in my time of need...finally, could be the important, but I don't think that any of them have an order of importance since they are helpful in there own situations...but the opportunity for forgiveness and repentance to leave the past behind...that is not always easy...sometimes I feel that my past is closer to me than I would like....But I am leaving what is behind and straining toward what is ahead...whatever that might be....
The last thing that I have to make a comment about...is why do relationships have to be so complicated? why can two people not decide what they want in a relationship and go for it...there has to be the you decide, no you decide, drama...I am too old for this...I don't date just to be dating anymore...I am dating for the purpose of finding someone to marry and I don't want to waste time dating someone I know I will not marry....I don't really know what I am trying to say here...but if two people are attracted to each other for whatever reason...why does there have to be drama? .....like I said random thoughts...I am stuck on this one and don't know what else to say....
I hope everyone has a happy new year!!!