dancing in the rain

Yesterday and today were stressful days. I am trying to be thankful and find reasons to be content with things the way they are....but I have to say that is not easy. Sometimes I feel like I am trying to do the right thing, but I am always unsuccessful. Right now, I am at a point where I don't know what do to and don't know what is the right thing to do. God and I talked today and I told Him that I want to do what He wants me to do, but I am not always sure what that is. I want to give myself totally to Him, but there is always a "but"...why is that? Like but my faith is not strong enough?, but why me?, but..but..but..I keeping trying to tell myself instead of asking but's..ask why nots? Why is my faith not strong enough..why not me? When I really get to the bottom of it...there is no excuse. There is no reason why it should not be me and there is no reason that my faith should not be strong enough. God has never given me more than I could handle and He has never left me! So the truth of the matter is that the problem is in ME! So how do I change this? I am at a point where I don't where to go from here. I want to let go and let God so bad...why can't I do it? Just a few thoughts that have been on my mind lately...if you have any advice I am open for help.

Today I am thankful for:
Casey and his patience and for the time he gives to listen to me..Thanks Casey!
Prayer
Songs that encourage me to keep going
Hugs when you feel like you can't go anymore
God for not giving up on me

I hope that everyone is having a good week!!! Remember if we are suffering for Christ it doesn't have a sad ending...we will one day have a home with Him in heaven! (where there is no drama :) )